This update is a little delayed but I didn't really think I needed to write about it. As it turns out, the more I think about it, the more excited I feel so I just want to share with everyone:
First off: In a way, I'm hoping word has gotten around that things just didn't work out with Derek. I didn't end up going to Canada and we are pretty much barely speaking. And to clarify: Yes I was hurt. I am still confused, but I am not mad at him. We are all human. No one can say they have never been rude, or overreacted or lashed out.
If you missed the gossip, there it is.
Now that that's out of the way...
You should all know by now, I feel like this years theme for my life is growth and change.
The year started out by getting back into church, immediately meeting a boy, meeting a bunch of people I don't know, all the while trying to get reconnected with God, clean up the past and change old habits. With all this going on, I kept feeling like I needed to get more involved. - That was as much as I knew about that. Just that I wanted too..
Anyway, I felt like there was a lot going on and I was overwhelmed.
Then, out of no where (for most of us) all that boy stuff fell apart -and as you should all know, I was REALLY into him. He took up a lot of my time and certainly a lot of my thoughts. I was devastated. It was then brought up that I wouldn't be going to Canada.
I spent about.. oh say, a good amount of time and then some, feeling really down. I was really looking forward to going (and of course, crushed that things had fallen apart as quick as they'd come.)
Since I had taken the week off long in advance (and figured it will be the last of a good chunk of time off, as the holidays are practically here!) I decided to stick with the plan, and not work that week.
Though I wasn't fishing, and had no chance of seeing a real bear in real life, the week turned out to be pretty good. I reconnected with my best friend, watched the birth of my "nephew" (Meg's new son, Aiden!) and did some really good thinking and self reflecting. I'm a little embarrassed to say that, part of my insight came from day time tv. (I just can't afford the real therapists ok!!) but what really got me was an exercise that was supposed to be done in Sunday school the week before. -
That Sunday we were all handed a sheet of paper and told to write a letter to God. We were told that it's ok to be honest with God. Be honest with your feelings. If you feel confused, tell Him. Ask for guidance
- Side note: it was also mentioned how sometimes you are right in the middle of Gods plan, even though you may not feel like it. You may feel like you've done something terribly wrong and messed it all up, but really, you could be right where God wants you. I'm pretty sure that lesson was written for me.
Anyway, so we were given paper and I just tucked mine away in the filing cabinet that is my Bible.
Last Monday, I wrote my letter.
I'll have to say it was the most amazing thing in awhile. It really opened my eyes and shined a light on things in life. I came to realize that I need to rearrange my life's priorities. I need to make sure that I'm making God my number one priority. Letting Him lead me in life, rather then I lead, get lost, and ask for guidance then. I also realized I do need to get more involved. I need to get involved in my own life. I realized how easy it is to feel sorry for yourself, and let life go by. Those are two separate things, I just happened to have been caught doing both. If I put my focus on God and let him be in control, I will have a lot more clarity, less confusion, and a much better outcome.
Though I still have hard days (as everyone does) I am so excited as I can see how God is working in my life, and really opening me up. I feel so blessed with the opportunities I am handed and hope to do the best I can with them. Though it won't always easy, I look forward to continuing my growth and certainly my walk with the Lord! :)
Philippians 4:13
Jeremiah 17:7-8
First off: In a way, I'm hoping word has gotten around that things just didn't work out with Derek. I didn't end up going to Canada and we are pretty much barely speaking. And to clarify: Yes I was hurt. I am still confused, but I am not mad at him. We are all human. No one can say they have never been rude, or overreacted or lashed out.
If you missed the gossip, there it is.
Now that that's out of the way...
You should all know by now, I feel like this years theme for my life is growth and change.
The year started out by getting back into church, immediately meeting a boy, meeting a bunch of people I don't know, all the while trying to get reconnected with God, clean up the past and change old habits. With all this going on, I kept feeling like I needed to get more involved. - That was as much as I knew about that. Just that I wanted too..
Anyway, I felt like there was a lot going on and I was overwhelmed.
Then, out of no where (for most of us) all that boy stuff fell apart -and as you should all know, I was REALLY into him. He took up a lot of my time and certainly a lot of my thoughts. I was devastated. It was then brought up that I wouldn't be going to Canada.
I spent about.. oh say, a good amount of time and then some, feeling really down. I was really looking forward to going (and of course, crushed that things had fallen apart as quick as they'd come.)
Since I had taken the week off long in advance (and figured it will be the last of a good chunk of time off, as the holidays are practically here!) I decided to stick with the plan, and not work that week.
Though I wasn't fishing, and had no chance of seeing a real bear in real life, the week turned out to be pretty good. I reconnected with my best friend, watched the birth of my "nephew" (Meg's new son, Aiden!) and did some really good thinking and self reflecting. I'm a little embarrassed to say that, part of my insight came from day time tv. (I just can't afford the real therapists ok!!) but what really got me was an exercise that was supposed to be done in Sunday school the week before. -
That Sunday we were all handed a sheet of paper and told to write a letter to God. We were told that it's ok to be honest with God. Be honest with your feelings. If you feel confused, tell Him. Ask for guidance
- Side note: it was also mentioned how sometimes you are right in the middle of Gods plan, even though you may not feel like it. You may feel like you've done something terribly wrong and messed it all up, but really, you could be right where God wants you. I'm pretty sure that lesson was written for me.
Anyway, so we were given paper and I just tucked mine away in the filing cabinet that is my Bible.
Last Monday, I wrote my letter.
I'll have to say it was the most amazing thing in awhile. It really opened my eyes and shined a light on things in life. I came to realize that I need to rearrange my life's priorities. I need to make sure that I'm making God my number one priority. Letting Him lead me in life, rather then I lead, get lost, and ask for guidance then. I also realized I do need to get more involved. I need to get involved in my own life. I realized how easy it is to feel sorry for yourself, and let life go by. Those are two separate things, I just happened to have been caught doing both. If I put my focus on God and let him be in control, I will have a lot more clarity, less confusion, and a much better outcome.
Though I still have hard days (as everyone does) I am so excited as I can see how God is working in my life, and really opening me up. I feel so blessed with the opportunities I am handed and hope to do the best I can with them. Though it won't always easy, I look forward to continuing my growth and certainly my walk with the Lord! :)
Philippians 4:13
Jeremiah 17:7-8
1 comments:
I'm glad you are feeling enlightened. I think I will take some of those lessons for myself and take some action instead of feeling sorry for myself in some ways. Thanks!
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