I'm not really sure where to begin. This year is fast and full of change. I've done more growing, and met more people in the last six months, then I probably have in the last six years. Some of it's really hard. Some of it scary. Sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy and that scares me!! Sometimes I find myself in a mess and unsure how to fix it - or even if I can fix it. Those are the time I have to wait it out. Be patient and hope for a second try.
Yesterday a friend told me they wish they could be open like I am with how I feel. And today a woman mentioned how I say what's on my mind and she seemed to like that about me. It made me feel good! But just so we all know, it's not always easy to say how I feel.. but what good does it do me to keep it all bottled up inside?
My life is kinda like a ride lately, and I apologize for not really being around. I'm constantly contemplating. Changing. Adapting. Growing. - Not to say that all that can't be done with friends around, I'm just trying to figure myself out. And apparently I'm not very good at balancing (though, I always knew I wasn't very graceful!)
It can be hard, all this change. Finding the right people to go to for the right things. Kicking old habits (to the curb, that is!) I find I have a lot of inner struggles that I'm working out at this time. Some one told me that if I were in a ring with myself, they didn't know who would win. Amen to that!
I know that in time, it will all be worked out. It's just a process that you can't rush. (which is kind of the difference from being in the ring and dealing with life... I can't just punch some one in the face and call it good!)
This year is Kah-rA-Z.. but good. And I thank you all who have been a part of my change - my support. And I thank you all who have been wondering where I've been but have continued to love me despite my absence. I haven't forgotten you. :)
Though I will forever be growing and changing (as we all are) the dramastic-ness (it's a hip new word) will die down and hopefully you won't have given up on me and will accept me as the person I am coming into.
3 comments:
I think thats its great how grounded you are in spite of what a hard year it's been for you. I know a little about drastic changes in life and I think you're doing the right thing. Everyone needs some time by their selves to figure out who they are from time to time. It's an ongoing life long process and you are doing an amazing job of discovering your own sense of self worth and realizing that your wants and needs are just as important as anyone elses. Learning not to compromise is one of lifes hardest lessons and you're doing it very well. YOU SHOULD BE PROUD OF YOURSELF!!!!!!!!!!
Welcome to the blog world... I am so excited!
I've been where you are. Don't worry about not always being present. True friends will understand that life is about growing and sometimes you need time for just yourself to reflect and just be. You will be forever growing and changing. I enjoy that part of life. And I too sometimes feel like I'm literally going crazy and it scares the bologna sandwiches out of me!! But so far I'm still.... well.... not too crazy. :)
*kisskiss!*
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