Take with salt

A few years back I wrote a few poems about people I knew. I really only wrote about four of them, but I just found two:

My hands are mostly germy
My nails are hardly there.
I should take a shower
And maybe wash my hair.

My face could use a washin'
Perhaps a little shave.
I'm sure by now you're thinking
I just crawled out a cave.

My arms could use a work out
Perhaps deoderant.
I didn't know that moldy shoe
Was not the hot new scent.

My hair could use a brushin'.
My breath smells like old clam.
Hello, it's nice to meet you.
My name is Pee Hand Sam.

.....................................................................................


You hair is too frizzy
Your nose full of snot.
Tall, blonde and blue eyed
is something you're not.

Your frame is so short;
A ridiculous height.
You skin; pre-baked pastry
Is unnaturally white.

You pierce your whole body
To look just like swiss cheese.
When ever you shave
You leave hair on your knees.

Your lips are shaped funny.
Your hands are too dry.
At the drop of a hat
WATCH OUT!!!!! She might cry!!

.....................................................................................

Weren't those lovely?